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Clair Mellenthin

Child and Family Therapist

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Get On The Floor And Play!

February 3, 2020 by clair Leave a Comment

We all understand that it’s important to play with our children, but did you know that you can have even more of an impact when you physically get down on the floor with them? It’s true!

Being on the floor in closer proximity to your children helps them feel seen and heard. Parents should put their phones away, get down on the carpet or the ground, and give their kiddos that individualized attention they need. Let the child be the boss and direct the play. This is so important for their brain development, gross and fine motor skills, and also the development of their social abilities and other skills they’ll need throughout their life.

Research shows that all kids really need is 20 minutes a week playing with their parents. That’s very little time, and we can certainly do that and even do more. Getting on the floor to play with your child can help create a deeper bond and give your child experiences that they’ll always remember.

Making the Most of Your Family’s Summer Schedule

June 9, 2016 by clair Leave a Comment

summertime!

School’s out, and summertime is here! This can be an exciting time for kids and families-the days get longer, there’s likely a vacation or two planned, and children get a much needed break from the stress of grades and tests. With the change in schedule comes a major change in routine, and while kids can generally take it easy, there are still some key things that parents can do to ensure that summer is both relaxing and productive. Here are some principles that families can put into practice to most the most of summer:

Consistency                           

While the summer months are certainly more flexible, there still needs to be some structure to the days. For example, it can be very helpful for kids to have a consistent bedtime. Particularly when they are young (but even as they move into their junior high years), children need their sleep, as they are still growing and developing. Going to bed and waking up at a certain time can also help the next day go a lot smoother. Consider in what other areas you can put a summer routine in place to create some structure for your family.

Free Play       

Culturally, we seem to be very good at micromanaging our kids (telling them what they should wear, what they should eat, who they should spend time with, etc). And though they do need routine and guidance, they also need freedom. Summer is the perfect time for children to get outside, go explore the woods with their friends, go biking…without their parents! Free play helps their imagination blossom and is how they learn to understand the world around them.

Reading

Reading is fundamental to learning, and since kids aren’t in school, parents need to step it up and make sure they’re reading throughout the summer. Particularly for children who may struggle academically, reading consistently can help them maintain and even improve their literacy skills and also can ease the transition when school starts again. Making reading a daily habit can also help kids internalize the message that reading is a lifelong endeavor, not just something they have to do for school assignments.

Work

While parents may choose to pay for some chores, some household jobs should be an expected part of family life.  Chores such as making a bed, cleaning a bathroom, tidying up their rooms, etc. are developmentally appropriate for most school age children but even preschoolers can get in the fun!  Give your 4 year old a paper towel and let them “help” wash a window or sort out utensils in the dishwasher. By having daily or weekly expectations, not only does the house stay clean, but we also help teach those crucial life skills of how to have a work ethic and also how to take care of our belongings. My siblings and I (and our friends, as my Mom had no problem handing out jobs to my friends who practically lived there!) disliked having jobs, would moan and groan about how unfair it is and how mean our parents are.  However, as an adult, I’m so grateful that my parents required them, as they instilled in me the value of hard work. Let’s fight the trend of entitlement that we too often see in young people these days and help kids learn how to work.

I hope your families’ summer is spectacular!

 

Clair Mellenthin, LCSW, RPT-S, Director of Child and Adolescence Services, Past President of UAPT. As an experienced play therapist,
and sought after presenter, she frequently appears on local and national media as an expert on child and family issues.